relationships

“A Pause Between Chapters: The Gift Within Divorce.”

/ suefraser / 24 Comments

We can plan our day to day life as much as we want, and often it never transpires in the ways that we think. It’s like driving an unknown road, where there are twists and turns, bridges, valleys and hills, and even a detour or two. And yet, we continue on.

It’s been awhile, since I sat to write my thoughts. I just put it all on the back burner for a short while. At least that is what it seems to be.

Four years ago this September, my life as I new it, changed forever. The man I had loved and married, decided to depart from our 37 year marriage. I was devastated to say the least. Throughout those 4 years, I experienced excruciating inner pain, anxiety, tears and so much more, from a heart that hurt so much from a loss.

However, what I now know today, is that through all that pain, I was given so much more, that I never knew was possible.

Healing can come in many forms. And I was so thankful, to have had my horse Devereux, to turn to when I was in such a low state. He offered himself through a connection of energy, while standing alongside him that reached far deeper than words.

The weight of his presence had a way of softening the sharp edges life sometimes leaves behind. Devereux would meet me in the moment. With no judgement.

Beyond the physical, he would awaken something spiritual within me. He took me into the space of the natural world, grounding me when I felt so overwhelmed. He made me feel a sense of belonging. In the presence of Devereux, my healing wasn’t forced– it simply unfolded.

The greatest gift he gave me, was that I didn’t need to have everything figured out. I just needed to show up, breathe and let the journey of trust and connection carry us forward. And for this experience, I am truly grateful.

Through the storm of my divorce, I discovered the quiet gift of floating out in calm waters. At first it was simply a place to escape, but over time it became a sanctuary where I could breathe, let the weight of my thoughts settle, and listen to the stillness around me.

The gentle ripples taught me patience, the vastness reminded me that life continues to flow forward, and in that space I found the strength to reflect, to release, and to continue to heal. It was in these moments, just me and the water, that I began to rediscover myself.

Divorce is never easy. It shook me to the core, stripped away what I thought my life would look like, and left me standing in a place that felt unfamiliar and raw.

For a long time, that’s where I found myself–lost between who I had been and who I was supposed to become. But what I see now, with a softer heart and clearer eyes, is that divorce is not just an ending. It can also be a beginning, a doorway into something unexpectedly beautiful.

The greatest discovery has been learning who I am apart from anyone else. For years, I measured myself through the eyes of another, but now I am learning to love myself just as I am–without conditions, without judgements, without the need for approval.

I am no longer tied to codependency. Instead, I stand on my own two feet, stronger, more grounded, and with a heart that is finally free.

Divorce has shown me that life is bigger and wider than I ever imagined. There are new adventures to take, new dreams to explore, and a whole world still waiting for me. It is proof that even in the hardest of endings, there is room for new beginnings. And in those beginnings, there is beauty.

From my little corner of the world,

Sue

P.S. “Keep going… Difficult roads can lead to beautiful destinations.” Zig Ziglar

Thank you for reading and do feel free to share. I would appreciate that so very much. And if you would like to support my writings, please tap on the coffee cup link, and treat me to a cup of coffee— for this I am so very grateful.

Who Inspires You?

/ suefraser / 16 Comments

Wow! When I sat down with my thoughts, of what inspires me, or who is an inspiration in my life, the little hamster wheel in my brain began to spin. My first thought, was that the bulk of inspiration comes into our lives from another human being. Which much of it truly does. However, I began to dig deep in thought, and began to realize that inspiration can come upon is in so many other forms that surround us.

I must say, throughout my life, I have had soooo many people come into my life that truly impacted and inspired me in some way, shape or form. And for that, I am truly grateful. Of course I could never mention every single person, but today, I want to share with you, my friend Jenn.

This past summer Jenn and I went on a exciting fun adventure, to the Bowden SunMaze located in central Alberta, Canada. We were looking so forward to enjoying the mass fields of bright yellow sunflowers. Well, the experience didn’t disappoint. We were thrilled to view bright yellow fields for as long as the eye could see. But first, we came upon these goofy boards, to which Jenn encouraged me to get in behind and poke my head through, to which brought forth quite a few chuckles and giggles, to us and the passersby’s.

My friend Jenn continually inspires me, as she is as bright and radiant as a fully bloomed sunflower. Jenn ignites creativity, motivation, and positive change in her day to day life. She has lifted my spirits many times, when they were on the floor, so to speak. Jenn’s joyous laughter resounds from within, capturing others attention nearby. I can’t help myself from laughing along too!

Jenn captures the beauty in that one single sunflower that towers above all the rest. There is a meaning to that she says. Jenn is an inspired individual that is true to herself.

She embraces her uniqueness and authenticity, which in turn, this genuine expression of self, resonates with others, encouraging them to be true to themselves as well. Jenn has truly impacted and inspired me with all her wonderful qualities in life.

In essence, inspiration in a person such as my friend Jenn, is a transformative force that not only elevates her own life, but also has a ripple effect, touching and influencing the lives of others. I’m so very happy and grateful that our paths crossed when they did.

My friend has been very instrumental in my healing journey of life these past two years, when my husband decided to depart from me. I cannot thank Jenn enough for when she answered the call to have a listening ear, anytime I needed to share. I like to say, Jenn’s sat in the “mud” with me many many times. A term I especially like, that comes from American author Simon Sinek.

Ultimately, inspiration in a person is marked by the positive impact they have on the world around them. Whether through their work, relationships, or contributions to their community, inspired individuals leave a lasting and uplifting legacy.

And in closing, who or what inspires you in your journey in life? Feel free to send me a message and let me know. I’d love to hear from you.

From Home on the Ranch

Sue

P.S. “To be inspired is great. To inspire is incredible.”

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyways

/ suefraser / 5 Comments

We’ve all felt fear at some point and time in our lives. Whether it be when we took our first attempt to ride a bicycle when we were little. Fearing of falling over and scraping our hands and knees, yet trusting our daddy would prevent this from happening.

The fear of not being accepted in that popular group of kids, when attending the first day of school when you were the new kid in town. The fear of flying in an airplane for the very first time, that was taking you to a amazing destination you so badly wanted to explore.

The fear of being alone, the fear of connecting, the fear of abandonment, the fear of failure and success, the fear of being fully alive, the fear of loss, the fear of trying something new, the fear of beginning a new chapter in life, the fear of loving and the list goes on and on. Not one person is exempt from feeling the extremity of fear.

But did you know, that fear can be healthy? It is programmed into our nervous system, and gives us the survival instincts you need to keep yourself safe from many forms of danger.

Fear is unhealthy when it makes you more cautious than you really need to be, to stay safe, and when it prevents you from doing things you would otherwise enjoy.

Why not face your fears to succeed or fail?

When we have loved and lost, or tried and failed, we may fear opening ourselves up to a painful competitive experience again. 

When we have succeeded or won—possibly at someone else’s expense—we may experience guilt, or fear retaliation. 

Thus many of us learn to hold back in love and life, thereby not risking either failure or success. 

We may feel the world does not allow us to be fulfilled.  Or we may feel guilty and afraid for feeling fulfilled.

We sometimes get hung up, from the fear of the possibility of being injured, whether physically or emotionally from the things we wish to endeavor.

We fear the knowing that we may fall to the ground, to our lowest point of failure, and have to face ourselves in getting back up to try in earnest again, sometimes trying over and over and over again.

Knowing full well, others may critically judge us. But the judgement of others, should never matter.

Take a step forward, and face your fears. Avoiding fears only makes them scarier. Whatever your fear, if you face it, it should start to fade.

Close your eyes and visualize the complete scenario of the fear that you are avoiding. Feel each and every sensation. Play the movie in your mind of the outcome you’d love to have.

Feel it. Hear it. See it. Believe it. Then do it!

When we practice this visualization continuously and repetitively, and then take the step forward, face the fear, that’s when the real miracles begin to take shape. The fear dissipates, and we rise to conquer all things in our lives, one fear at a time.

And remember, when you have faced that fear, whatever it is, jump for joy and be celebrated by others.

Life is full of stresses, yet many of us feel that our lives must be perfect. Bad days and setbacks will always happen, and it’s important to remember that life is messy.

Feel the fear and do it anyways.

Thank you for following along on my blog. If you’ve enjoyed it let me know and share it with a friend.

All the photos I have inserted, are my work, making memories one click at a time.

From Home on the Ranch

Sue

P.S. “Being brave isn’t the absence of fear. Being brave is having that fear but finding a way through it.” Bear Grylls

Enjoying the Fruits of Your Labour

/ suefraser / 8 Comments

There’s a time to plant, a time to sow and a time to reap throughout one’s lifetime. Just as the garden that is planted in the spring, if we do not tend to it, nothing will grow. Before anything is planted, the rich soil needs to be prepared, the nasty weeds be removed, and sometimes a fertilizer spread upon the ground.

As a child growing up within the church, I remember the well known Bible verse, Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 which says: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven; a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot.”

Everything in our journey of life has its own time and season, and one must be patient and understanding, as we move through the different phases of life, no matter the difficulty and pain that we may experience.

When planting the various seeds into the ground, each one must be carefully placed so far apart, and at different depths into the soil, for the bright sun and gentle rains to begin the process of germination, the first stage in the life cycle of many plants.

Just as a garden needs special care and attention to every detail in preparing, planting, watering and weeding, and weeding and watering again, and praying the bright rays of sunshine come out each and every day in hopes that the abundance of the fruits of our labour is plenty, similarly, our many life’s relationships need just the same care and attention.

Over a lifetime, a person can have many relationships with many different people. Some come and go, others last for a lifetime. Kindling a relationship involves building a connection, showing interest of one’s life, listening and engaging with what is shared. Communicating is key, being open and honest, expressing thoughts and feelings, clearly and respectfully. Spending quality time, and being supportive to one another, encouraging goals and dreams that they may have. Being appreciative of them and letting them know through small gestures or doing something kind for them.

Remember, building relationships takes time and effort, by both parties, just the same as the gardener prepares, plants and nurtures his garden.

Throughout the season, as the plants begin to produce the vegetable within the ground and the greens upon the vine, the gardener enjoys the fruits of his labour.

So should your new relationships bring you a sense of joyful companionship, a listening ear with a source of advice, emotional support to personal growth and an improved well being.

From Home on the Ranch

Sue

P.S. “You are the creator of your own garden. Plant kindness and compassion. Water with love and gratitude. And you will enjoy beauty all the days of your life.” Julie Parker