It’s been many months since I last sat down to write.
My previous blog, A Pause Between Chapters: The Gift Within Divorce, shared some of the most difficult and transformative years of my life. I wrote about loss, healing, horses, nature and the unexpected gifts that can emerge from heartbreak. At the time, I was learning how to survive. I was learnhing who I was apart from the roles I had held for decades. I was finding my footing again.
But then what happens after survival?
What happens when the crisis has passed, the tears are not as frequent, or almost non existent and life no longer feels like something you have to fight your way through?
Surrendering to just be.
Recently, I found myself sitting quietly in a field watching the sunset. There was nowhere I needed to be and nothing I needed to do. I was simply present with the beauty of the moment.
As I sat there, a bumble bee buzzed softly near me, and then there was nothing. Where did it go? I then felt a tickle on my bare foot.
At first, I felt a slight apprehensiveness. My first instinct was to move, to protect myself, and to make it leave. But then deep within me, I felt the need to just stay put, and allow. I took a breath, calming my whole being, and remained still and observed what my new little friend was up to.
For the next several minutes, that little bee wandered around my foot as if it had no where else to be. It wasn’t in a hurry. It wasn’t trying to accomplish anything. It was simply being.
Eventually, it lifted off, made a few circles around me, and flew away.
I sat and pondered on what just took place. As strange as it may sound to others, for me, it was truly a life lesson.
For so much of my life, I have been planning, working, fixing, helping, healing, striving, and moving toward the next thing. Yet in that moment, the bee reminded me that there is wisdom in simply being fully present. There is true beauty in surrendering to the moment rather than trying to control it.
Sometimes we don’t need to do more.
Sometimes we just simply need to be.
A day or two later, I came across an old house standing quietly on a golf course nearby. I figured it must be at least a hundred years old. Beautifully weathered by time, yet still standing strong in structure. Bright yellow flowers and deep green grass surrounds it, creating a scene that was unexpectedly beautiful on that warm spring day.
I found myself wondering about the stories that old wooden structure could tell if it could speak.
I imagined the joyful laughter it may have heard. The soft tears it may have witnessed. The day dreams that may have lived within its walls.
It truly reminded me that we are all like that old weathered unique looking house.
Each and every day of our lives becomes part of our story we create. Some chapters are filled with immense joy and laughter, while others hold loss, change, uncertainty and growth. Every experience leaves its solid imprint.
Yet no matter what has taken place before, we only ever truly have today.
Yesterday is our memories.
Tomorrow is a possiblity.
And today is where life is actually happening. This very moment.
I believe that this is what the season of my life is teaching me.
Not how to survive.
Not how to heal.
But how to be present. Fully present in all that I do.
To sit with a magnificent sunset.
To welcome natures bumble bees.
To appreciate a unique old weathered house and the stories it holds.
To trust that this moment, exactly as it is, is enough.
After years of learning how to survive, I am finally learning the gift of simply being.
Or perhaps, just bee-ing.
From my little corner of the world,
Sue
P.S. “Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.” — Eckhart Tolle
Thank you for reading and do feel free to share. I would appreciate that so very much. And if you would like to support my writings, please tap on the red coffee cup link on the bottom right, and treat me to a cup of coffee— for this I am so very grateful.
We can plan our day to day life as much as we want, and often it never transpires in the ways that we think. It’s like driving an unknown road, where there are twists and turns, bridges, valleys and hills, and even a detour or two. And yet, we continue on.
It’s been awhile, since I sat to write my thoughts. I just put it all on the back burner for a short while. At least that is what it seems to be.
Four years ago this September, my life as I new it, changed forever. The man I had loved and married, decided to depart from our 37 year marriage. I was devastated to say the least. Throughout those 4 years, I experienced excruciating inner pain, anxiety, tears and so much more, from a heart that hurt so much from a loss.
However, what I now know today, is that through all that pain, I was given so much more, that I never knew was possible.
Healing can come in many forms. And I was so thankful, to have had my horse Devereux, to turn to when I was in such a low state. He offered himself through a connection of energy, while standing alongside him that reached far deeper than words.
The weight of his presence had a way of softening the sharp edges life sometimes leaves behind. Devereux would meet me in the moment. With no judgement.
Beyond the physical, he would awaken something spiritual within me. He took me into the space of the natural world, grounding me when I felt so overwhelmed. He made me feel a sense of belonging. In the presence of Devereux, my healing wasn’t forced– it simply unfolded.
The greatest gift he gave me, was that I didn’t need to have everything figured out. I just needed to show up, breathe and let the journey of trust and connection carry us forward. And for this experience, I am truly grateful.
Through the storm of my divorce, I discovered the quiet gift of floating out in calm waters. At first it was simply a place to escape, but over time it became a sanctuary where I could breathe, let the weight of my thoughts settle, and listen to the stillness around me.
The gentle ripples taught me patience, the vastness reminded me that life continues to flow forward, and in that space I found the strength to reflect, to release, and to continue to heal. It was in these moments, just me and the water, that I began to rediscover myself.
Divorce is never easy. It shook me to the core, stripped away what I thought my life would look like, and left me standing in a place that felt unfamiliar and raw.
For a long time, that’s where I found myself–lost between who I had been and who I was supposed to become. But what I see now, with a softer heart and clearer eyes, is that divorce is not just an ending. It can also be a beginning, a doorway into something unexpectedly beautiful.
The greatest discovery has been learning who I am apart from anyone else. For years, I measured myself through the eyes of another, but now I am learning to love myself just as I am–without conditions, without judgements, without the need for approval.
I am no longer tied to codependency. Instead, I stand on my own two feet, stronger, more grounded, and with a heart that is finally free.
Divorce has shown me that life is bigger and wider than I ever imagined. There are new adventures to take, new dreams to explore, and a whole world still waiting for me. It is proof that even in the hardest of endings, there is room for new beginnings. And in those beginnings, there is beauty.
From my little corner of the world,
Sue
P.S. “Keep going… Difficult roads can lead to beautiful destinations.” Zig Ziglar
Thank you for reading and do feel free to share. I would appreciate that so very much. And if you would like to support my writings, please tap on the coffee cup link, and treat me to a cup of coffee— for this I am so very grateful.
Two words that can stretch out to so many more words if one sat down to really dig deep and allow your mind to wander.
Before I sat down in my comfy chair to write, I took a trip down memory lane, viewing all the thousands and thousands of colorful photos I have stored on my phone and also in the many large family photo albums that line the shelves tucked down beneath the darkened stairwell, hardly touched in a long long while.
“In the quiet corridors of reminiscence, we find the echoes of our journey–a mosaic of joy, tears, and the unspoken beauty of what once was.”
As I begin a course in writing, one of the first exercises is to write a list of phrases beginning with the words “I remember….” and see what the subconscious mind brings forth. I decided to pull a few photos out of the vault, that sparked those memories alive.
“Grandchildren fill the spaces in our hearts that we never knew were empty.”
“I remember…” those many fun filled moments with my first grandson, where he took me to a place of “Nothing Matters!’ so very often. He taught me that within each and everyone of us, there’s a kid that needs to come out and play, each and every day. From colorful masks, to batman and clown costumes, colorful Lego and tumbling building blocks, you name it, we explored it all. This, I remember well.
“The Power of Unity and Strength.”
“I remember…” the magnificent beauty of our thoroughbred horses when they were harnessed and hooked to the nostalgic chuckwagon, so eagerly heading off to the races. Four mighty hearts beating in unison, their finely trimmed hooves echoing the symphony of strength, each embodying a powerful force that moves not just a wagon, but the very spirit of teamwork and unity. This, I remember well.
“As the wheel of time spins, the bond between a son and his mom rides through life’s journey—unwavering, adventurous and always in the wind of love”
“I remember…” the immense apprehensive feeling I felt, the first time I learned from my son, of his purchase of a shiny new silver, Harley Davidson motorcycle. Although this momma raised her kids and released them to fly from the nest freely and live their ingrained vivid dreams, there always will lie within her, a concern for their utmost safety wherever their travels do take them.
“I remember…” the day my son, so excited to head on out, with an eager sense of freedom to drive the open highways with his longtime friend Tim. With his saddle bags tightly packed upon his lustrous iconic and powerful machine, the world was his oyster, awaiting to secure experiences they would forever carry to their graves, with no regret left behind.
“I remember…” the deep, throaty growl of his Harley’s engine when it came to life, as he gripped the wide handlebars, assumed a comfortable riding stance, clicked it into gear, and drove down the long paved driveway, ever so slowly. With a tear in his momma’s eyes, and a wave to say goodbye, the renowned distinctive sound gradually diminished slowly and faded until a deafening silence remained. This, I remember well.
“Guiding hand, heart full of love. Fatherhoods’ tender embrace.”
“I remember…” the warm sandy beach, the welcoming waves, and the much needed sunshine that keeps ones spirit alive. As I sat and enjoyed the breathtaking beach of Costa Rica, my eyes gazed upon the people as they walked by. I couldn’t help but notice the youthful father and his petite little daughter, with her tiny delicate little hand tucked up safely in his sizeable palm. The bond between a father and his daughter shone brightly that day. This, I remember well.
Savoring the rich notes of the last red wine, a toast to cherished moments and the timeless bond between father and daughter.“From our last shared moment to the final farewell—capturing the bittersweet beauty of love that transcends lifetimes.”
“I remember…” the final, last special day with my father. The horses had been fed and watered, our friends, fans and family had arrived to celebrate our last hurrah. Together, with my ailing father, we sat and sipped on a glass of sweet red wine, watched the rambunctious kids run on by giggling, laughing and playing, all the while just enjoying being in each others presence. This, I remember well.
“I remember…” the time had come to say our goodbyes, and deep within my heart, I knew that I knew, it would be my last. I just knew. With a hug and a kiss, and a wave goodby, he was gone. Only to come to know, that 5 short weeks later, the man that I had come to know as my father, had received his angelic wings and the soft whisper of the creator beckoned him home. This, I remember well.
“Those many enjoyous days in the barn at the Calgary Stampede barns.”“Capturing heartfel moments from the Chuckwagon Trail.”“Together we are two different people, with two different paths.”
“I remember…” and hold so many glorious memories of my time at the renowned Calgary Stampede over the past 30 something years with my family. Each recollection is a portal to a moment once lived, some so vivid and vibrant, others soft and bittersweet. This, I remember well.
“I remember…” July 2018 would be one I would never forget. With a plethora of mixed emotions from, wild excitement, to apprehension, sadness and joy, I allowed myself to feel them all. The Stampede would be our families last, as retirement had been our decision. On the second day in, the news of my father had arrived, that he departed this earthly plane. With interviews of expressing the lifespan of holding the title of a Chuckwagon wife, to voicing the escalated emotions of parting ways with our equine companions, and closing that big ol barn door one last time, of the life that molded me into who I was, this I remember well.
“The Perfect Christmas Card Photo.”
“I remember…” one of the last Christmas gatherings we had together as a family. I was that Christmas card creator that loved to hand write that special family letter, insert that most current photo, excited to mail to loved ones abroad, each and every year. We came together to attempt to capture that one special photo, with all eyes opened and everyone looking towards that Nikon camera lens. Well, that didn’t happen. What we captured, was the most PERFECT Christmas Card photo ever! To my regret, I failed to get that card written that particular year and the photo remains within my archives of plentiful family fond memories. This, I remember well.
“I remember…” the vibrant autumn leaves, with the crisp rustle beneath our feet, as my grandchildren and I, danced and played among the golden fiery hues of leaves swirling all around us. Only to lie down and gaze up into the big bright beautiful blue sky. This, I remember well.
“I remember…” the fragrant lilac blossoms with their delicate clusters of small, tubular flowers, displaying hues of pale lavender, when my sweet young grandboys picked the branches so carefully and presented them to me. The mounting excitement within each of them, of giving a gift so beautiful in nature, warmed my heart to its fullest. This, I remember well.
“Bathing in the enchanting glow of moonlight, a night filled with celestial whispers, silver dreams, and I remembers.”
“I remember…” this crisp winter night so well. With the easterly radiant moonlit night sky, casting a serene glow that turned the daylight into darkness, painting a canvas of silver brilliance. I stood so very still for quite some time, bathing in the enchanting glow of the moonlight, with the twinkling stars above embracing the tranquility of quietude. This night was filled with celestial whispers and silver dreams. Wondering and pondering, what my next chapter in life will be like. This, I remember well.
Won’t you take time to remember?
From Home on the Ranch
Sue
P.S. “Remember the whispers of yesterday, the laughter etched in time, and the silent promises of moments that still echo within the heart.”
Thank you for reading and do feel free to share I would appreciate that so very much. And if you would like to support my writings and photography, please click on the coffee cup link, and treat me to a cup of coffee— for this I am so very grateful.
My head is swimming! It’s swimming with an overload of information of what to do, how to do it, who can help me, what to listen to, can I do it, what are people going to think of me, is my decision the right decision, do I start when everything is perfectly ready (which it never will be, mind you).
What if I fail, yet what if someone’s life changes for the good, because of what I’ve put out there to the whole wide world? UGH!!!
“Swirling thoughts within the snowstorm.”
Do you ever have these inner thoughts swirling around like a tornado in your head, such as these? Many of us do, and what happens, is we tend to do absolutely nothing about them. Only for the simple reason, is we get overwhelmed and we just don’t know where to start.
We often sit in a state of confusion of not knowing where to begin. But let me tell you, just taking one little step, in one direction, or choosing one little task is the beginning of what could be the biggest step you’ve ever taken in your life.
“Take that first step, even if you need a helping hand to get started.“
This past Sunday, was a “down” day for me. Very low key, pondering my life, and just being present within. We all have those days. Then on Monday, I got another surge of spunk in my step, and an urge to get going, with all of my many irons that are in the fire.
I listen to many, many podcasts, informational Youtube Channels, read exceptionally well authored self-help books, sit in meditation and collaborate with others upon ideas that may have an astronomical effect on my life moving forward. For all these things, I am truly grateful.
“In the stillness comes a profound awareness, a tranquil space where the whispers of our innermost thoughts are heard, and the essence of our being becomes clear.”
One of my most favorite, highly regarded motivational speakers and philosophers, to whom I have been immersed into his content lately, is the late Jim Rohn, a farm boy who grew up in the state of Idaho. Many of Jim’s heartfelt teachings are such an inspiration to me in my day to day living. Many of his notable insights of life, have truly assisted me in my journey these past two years and continue to do so.
I would like to share with you, some of Jim’s most highly repeated content quotes that I lean on often.
“Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better.
“Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying basic fundamentals.”
“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.”
“The major value in life is not what you get. The major value in life is what you become.”
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
“Don’t join an easy crowd; you won’t grow. Go where the expectations and the demands to perform are high.”
“Work harder on yourself than you do on your job.”
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”
“Success is doing ordianry things extraodianarily well.”
“Don’t let your learning lead to knowledge. Let your learning lead to action.”
Jim Rohn’s teachings often emphasize personal development, the importance of mindset, and taking responsibility of one’s life with continual learning. We only have one life to live, so we better make it the best one we can imagine.
Are you ready to take that first step? Life is awaiting.
From Home on the Ranch
Sue
P.S. “Life is not merely to be alive, but to be well, to be aware, to feel deeply, and to live fully in each moment.” Sue Fraser
Thank you for reading and do feel free to share and if you would like to support my writings and photography, please click on the coffee cup link to the right and treat me to a coffee-it really does help.
When you look out to the horizon of your journey in life, many see a path of routine and predictability. It’s a path that is hugely driven by many people. Yet there is a road that is less trodden, that is barely visible by the overwhelming or uncomfortableness and insecurities within us.
What if you are at a fork in the road of life, and you come to a full stop. You turn around and you look back over the days, the months, the years of what you’ve done, what you’ve accomplished, yet you also see the fading dreams of the many things your heart desired to do, but never had the courage to do it. You ponder all that comes to mind. Then it is time to move forward, and make a choice as to which road moving forward you will take.
Will you continue to walk in the path of routine? Or do you feel deep down in your soul, that it is time to stand out and weave your new path, regardless of the uncertainty of what lies ahead. All that you know is that there is a spark deep within you that has wanted to ignite into a burning inferno, to let the world know who you truly are for some time now. You were just afraid, and insecure to take that first step.
To stand out, and weave your own path can be intimidating and challenging, being in fear of judgment of another. Being in fear of the unknown. Fear no more. The unknown is the path of possibility.
It’s’ time to ignite that inner spark that explodes into an amazing colorful fireworks display, over and over and over again. Take that road less travelled. Pave your way to a new beginning. Breathe fire into your true authenticity. Be distinctive in your journey. The world is awaiting your rebirth to who you truly are and what it is you were placed on this earth for. It’s never to late, and your never to old.
A rare gem isn’t noticed, until it is polished and shined to reveal its true sparkling beauty.
Surround yourself with people who see your potential. Who will challenge you and make your thoughts and dreams dance in the realness of what could be. Not what you are, but what you can become.
They will be your cheerleader’s along the way. They will also be there sitting in the mud with you when the tough gets going, and the going gets tough, and you have thoughts of quitting, but they won’t allow you too.
Your new journey to stand out in the world, doesn’t require monumental leaps. It only needs consistent purposeful steps.
Your life begins with a possibility that begins with you, with your choice to embrace your uniqueness. To flourish like a colorful spring flower in bloom.
Carry with you the understanding that to stand out, is not to be seen, but to be felt, to leave an imprint on the world that whispers:
“I was here. I mattered. I made a difference.”
Be unapologetic of who you are. There is only one of you. And you are special.
There is a song to sing within all of us, just waiting to be sung. A melody of our distinct thoughts, dreams and ideas. To stand out, you must find the courage to sing your solo, even at the times when you want to blend in with the chorus.
Just know, your song doesn’t need to sound like anyone else’s. It’s your tune and yours alone.
Won’t you begin to sing your song today? All the while, walking the path less traveled?
From Home on the Ranch
Sue
P.S. When we step into the unknown, the endless possibilities of life surround us. It is then, and only then that we realize the changes we can make within ourselves.
Sue Fraser
Just a little side note:
As my life continues to unfold, as a single lady, I love to write my thoughts from the voice within on this blogging platform. Firstly in a form of therapy for me, and secondly, that I may assist someone else in their journey of life.
I have added a feature that supports me in a nominal way from you, the audience. It’s called “Buy me a Coffee.” The coffee cup logo is located in the bottom right hand corner of my blog.
It’s a simple and friendly way for fans to express appreciation by contributing the cost of a virtual coffee. This voluntary gesture assists creators such as me to sustain my work and continue to produce the content I share, that the reader enjoys.
I like to think of it as you and I, sitting down at your table, sharing my thoughts from within….while enjoying a hot cup of coffee.
So if you feel up to joining me from my “Thoughts from the Voice Within”, and that hot cup of coffee, I would be so ever grateful.
