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Breaking the Silence: Navigating the Struggle of Seeking Support

/ suefraser / 6 Comments

Do you remember the last time you assisted someone with a task? Helped an elderly person with their groceries? Opened the door for a stranger? Bought a coffee for the customer behind you?

We all tend to be helpful in many ways in our day to day lives. Volunteering in schools, food banks, and shelters. How about tending to the ill family member in the hospital day after day, mowing the neighbors grass when they were away, or tending to the stranger who’s vehicle broke down.

There are so many opportunities in our daily lives, to give of ourselves, and in turn, it makes us feel so good inside, releasing plenty of endorphins.

But you know what? So many of us are very reluctant to ask for assistance when we are in need. There are several reasons as to why, one won’t reach out, or accept help from another. I admit, I am guilty of this very notion over the course of my life.

Some of the reasons for not asking for help is because our pride and ego gets in the way. We may be embarrassed. We may not want to burden another, or we have fear of rejection. And sometimes we just want to go it alone, because we believe no one will understand us anyway. All the while, we may be desperately in need of another.

Needing and asking for help is definitely not a weakness, though many people feel it is. It can be challenging to ask a friend, a stranger or even a therapist to be open to listen to our woes. It means taking that step to opening up and being vulnerable.

Yet, if one does as for ask for help, it gives us an opportunity to grow and learn from the experience, no matter what the outcome. Reaching out to others teaches so many things about ourselves. It often gets one to go deep within and examine our own needs and accepting areas where there may be room for improvement in our lives.

It is then, that we need to put our egos aside and admit that we are not totally self sufficient. We really do need each other in some way, shape or form.

There is literally no shame in requesting the computer expert to assist in setting up the new laptop that arrived from Amazon or asking your dad to show you how to change the oil in your vehicle. There’s always a chance of bonding and or learning something new when we reach out for a lending hand.

When we disallow friends, family or strangers from assisting us from say, driving us to an appointment, or making a meal for the kids, or tidying and catching up with our laundry because we got behind, what this does is it robs the so called helper, from experiencing the joy of giving. That feel good feeling of endorphins being released for another. They need to feel useful and appreciated too. As we want to be helpful, so do others.

When we reach out for assistance it also teaches us to trust. Whether we call upon people, animals, the angels, God, the Creator and/or the Universe, it is important to believe that all of our needs will be answered. There comes a reminder through all of this, that there really is compassion in this world, and that if we allow it, we will be loved and cared for.

Take time right now, and ask yourself where in your life could you use either a small or large dose of help and take that step to reach out to someone and ask “I’m in need, will you help me?”

Allow someone to be of service to you today. Give and the world gives back.

From Home on the Ranch

Sue

P.S. “If you have to choose between being kind and being right, choose being kind and you will always be right.” Edwin C. Maturan

A side note:

As my life continues to unfold in my young senior years, as a single lady, I love to write my thoughts from the voice within on this blogging platform. Firstly in a form of therapy for me, and secondly, that I may assist someone else in their journey of life.

I have added a feature that supports me in a nominal way from you, the audience. It’s called “Buy me a Coffee.” The coffee cup logo is located in the bottom right hand corner of my blog.

It’s a simple and friendly way for fans to express appreciation by contributing the cost of a virtual coffee. This voluntary gesture assists creators such as me to sustain my work and continue to produce the content I share, that the reader enjoys.

I like to think of it as you and I, sitting down at your table, sharing my thoughts from within….while enjoying a hot cup of coffee.

So if you feel up to joining me from my “Thoughts from the Voice Within”, and that hot cup of coffee, I would be so ever grateful.

Who Inspires You?

/ suefraser / 16 Comments

Wow! When I sat down with my thoughts, of what inspires me, or who is an inspiration in my life, the little hamster wheel in my brain began to spin. My first thought, was that the bulk of inspiration comes into our lives from another human being. Which much of it truly does. However, I began to dig deep in thought, and began to realize that inspiration can come upon is in so many other forms that surround us.

I must say, throughout my life, I have had soooo many people come into my life that truly impacted and inspired me in some way, shape or form. And for that, I am truly grateful. Of course I could never mention every single person, but today, I want to share with you, my friend Jenn.

This past summer Jenn and I went on a exciting fun adventure, to the Bowden SunMaze located in central Alberta, Canada. We were looking so forward to enjoying the mass fields of bright yellow sunflowers. Well, the experience didn’t disappoint. We were thrilled to view bright yellow fields for as long as the eye could see. But first, we came upon these goofy boards, to which Jenn encouraged me to get in behind and poke my head through, to which brought forth quite a few chuckles and giggles, to us and the passersby’s.

My friend Jenn continually inspires me, as she is as bright and radiant as a fully bloomed sunflower. Jenn ignites creativity, motivation, and positive change in her day to day life. She has lifted my spirits many times, when they were on the floor, so to speak. Jenn’s joyous laughter resounds from within, capturing others attention nearby. I can’t help myself from laughing along too!

Jenn captures the beauty in that one single sunflower that towers above all the rest. There is a meaning to that she says. Jenn is an inspired individual that is true to herself.

She embraces her uniqueness and authenticity, which in turn, this genuine expression of self, resonates with others, encouraging them to be true to themselves as well. Jenn has truly impacted and inspired me with all her wonderful qualities in life.

In essence, inspiration in a person such as my friend Jenn, is a transformative force that not only elevates her own life, but also has a ripple effect, touching and influencing the lives of others. I’m so very happy and grateful that our paths crossed when they did.

My friend has been very instrumental in my healing journey of life these past two years, when my husband decided to depart from me. I cannot thank Jenn enough for when she answered the call to have a listening ear, anytime I needed to share. I like to say, Jenn’s sat in the “mud” with me many many times. A term I especially like, that comes from American author Simon Sinek.

Ultimately, inspiration in a person is marked by the positive impact they have on the world around them. Whether through their work, relationships, or contributions to their community, inspired individuals leave a lasting and uplifting legacy.

And in closing, who or what inspires you in your journey in life? Feel free to send me a message and let me know. I’d love to hear from you.

From Home on the Ranch

Sue

P.S. “To be inspired is great. To inspire is incredible.”

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyways

/ suefraser / 5 Comments

We’ve all felt fear at some point and time in our lives. Whether it be when we took our first attempt to ride a bicycle when we were little. Fearing of falling over and scraping our hands and knees, yet trusting our daddy would prevent this from happening.

The fear of not being accepted in that popular group of kids, when attending the first day of school when you were the new kid in town. The fear of flying in an airplane for the very first time, that was taking you to a amazing destination you so badly wanted to explore.

The fear of being alone, the fear of connecting, the fear of abandonment, the fear of failure and success, the fear of being fully alive, the fear of loss, the fear of trying something new, the fear of beginning a new chapter in life, the fear of loving and the list goes on and on. Not one person is exempt from feeling the extremity of fear.

But did you know, that fear can be healthy? It is programmed into our nervous system, and gives us the survival instincts you need to keep yourself safe from many forms of danger.

Fear is unhealthy when it makes you more cautious than you really need to be, to stay safe, and when it prevents you from doing things you would otherwise enjoy.

Why not face your fears to succeed or fail?

When we have loved and lost, or tried and failed, we may fear opening ourselves up to a painful competitive experience again. 

When we have succeeded or won—possibly at someone else’s expense—we may experience guilt, or fear retaliation. 

Thus many of us learn to hold back in love and life, thereby not risking either failure or success. 

We may feel the world does not allow us to be fulfilled.  Or we may feel guilty and afraid for feeling fulfilled.

We sometimes get hung up, from the fear of the possibility of being injured, whether physically or emotionally from the things we wish to endeavor.

We fear the knowing that we may fall to the ground, to our lowest point of failure, and have to face ourselves in getting back up to try in earnest again, sometimes trying over and over and over again.

Knowing full well, others may critically judge us. But the judgement of others, should never matter.

Take a step forward, and face your fears. Avoiding fears only makes them scarier. Whatever your fear, if you face it, it should start to fade.

Close your eyes and visualize the complete scenario of the fear that you are avoiding. Feel each and every sensation. Play the movie in your mind of the outcome you’d love to have.

Feel it. Hear it. See it. Believe it. Then do it!

When we practice this visualization continuously and repetitively, and then take the step forward, face the fear, that’s when the real miracles begin to take shape. The fear dissipates, and we rise to conquer all things in our lives, one fear at a time.

And remember, when you have faced that fear, whatever it is, jump for joy and be celebrated by others.

Life is full of stresses, yet many of us feel that our lives must be perfect. Bad days and setbacks will always happen, and it’s important to remember that life is messy.

Feel the fear and do it anyways.

Thank you for following along on my blog. If you’ve enjoyed it let me know and share it with a friend.

All the photos I have inserted, are my work, making memories one click at a time.

From Home on the Ranch

Sue

P.S. “Being brave isn’t the absence of fear. Being brave is having that fear but finding a way through it.” Bear Grylls

In Service of Others, Brings Meaning and Purpose Within.

/ suefraser / 4 Comments

I am a journaler. It has been self healing, and helps me to understand life on a different level.

This morning, I looked back on a day in March that I penciled my thoughts, and it gave me a huge desire to share my writings with you.

My Writing on Thursday March 23, 2023

Oh the days go by. The feelings each day, each hour, each minute are different. One just never knows how one will feel at any current moment. They just don’t.

One moment you can be happy and joyful, and in another minute, things can change and the tears can well up and overflow. It’s all part of living, growing and evolving.

This morning I listened to Simon Sinek a British-born American author and inspirational speaker. Simon spoke about an experience he had during the war in Afghanistan several years ago. He was there. Seared in fear of death and all the things.

It wasn’t until he decided he needed to just go and be of service to the ones who were serving. His life had changed immensely in these moments.

The human touch speaks volumes

A plane was able to take him and a few others back home from the horrible and devastating war. In tremendous anxiety, Simon and others rushed to get to the plane. Little did he know, the plane he was to get on was a plane that was transporting a fallen soldier back home to the USA.

Simon met a doctor on the aircraft, and asked the man a question: “Do you have a different kind of feeling on these missions than you do back home?”

The doctor replied: “90 to 95% of the people who come through ER are either drunks or idiots. There’s not a single drunk or idiot on this aircraft.” The doctor relayed that the feeling he gets when he works these missions during his reserve hours is more powerful than ANY feeling he would ever get when working back home.

The doctor said: “THE GREATEST SENSE OF MEANING AND PURPOSE WE CAN HAVE IN OUR LIVES IS TO SERVE THOSE WHO SERVE OTHERS.”

A smile and a handshake is all one may need.*

Simon, back in the USA, spoke about his experience, his story of being/going to Afghanistan in front of an audience. Simon got choked up, and was so very emotional while sharing his story. Simon struggled hard to get through his story. His story was so raw and real.

Simon spoke about how someone in the private sector would typically say, in response to his sharing struggle…… “Take your time. It’s Okay. It happened. Take your time.”

Simon said, that’s not what happened. He continued to stand in front of his audience, all choked up in complete silence. He couldn’t speak. Simon couldn’t continue the emotional story he was sharing.

Then, a voice from the back of the room resounded, a General spoke up, and said:

“Go on.” Meaning: “Go on, and we are with you.”

Simon said that’s the difference between the private sector and those wonderful people he was among.

“The private sector says take your time, as if you’re alone. Take all the time you need. By yourself.”

“And these people, who truly know what, and understand what service truly means, they say: “Go forward. Go on. Move forward. You have no choice, and WE WILL BE WITH YOU!”

Simon shared, “When my friends are struggling, I don’t say, “Take your time.” When my friends are struggling, I say: “Go on.” When my friends are crying, I say: “Go on.!”

The underlying message is: “And I am sitting here in the mud with you.”

Simon says, “It is the greatest honour of my life, to sit in the mud with those who are struggling.”

And because of this experience of Simon’s, is where his book “Leaders Eat Last” was created.

Today I have learned from Simon’s story, that I need to be of service to others, better than I have been.

There are so many opportunities to be of service, we just need to be open to them, and begin serving.

Who can you be of service in your life today?

From Home on the Ranch

Sue

P.S. “The best way to find yourself, is to lose yourself in the service of others.” Mahatma Gandhi

Your Power Within

/ suefraser / 6 Comments

If your thoughts are on what is…….then it is.

I listen to many wise, and interesting people that have so much to offer with their words of wisdom on podcasts, YouTube channels, and speaking to people in general. I can never get enough of filling my being with so much knowledge on becoming a better me, while I live out my life here on this earthly plain. We all attract into our lives what we put our attention to.

Experiences are important. I had the pleasure of photographing a family graduate and his fellow schoolmates just a while back. I love to be inconspicuous, and capture the moments that say it all.

This captured moment puts a smile on my face. It spoke to me in a way, that touched my heart.

It said “Take the photos, of the moment at hand, for you may never remember them otherwise.”

My quote.

These couldn’t be truer words spoken. I think back over the years of my younger life, and there is so little that I can remember. Yet so thankful when I picked up my camera and began my blog, the stories I’ve told and shared, will forever be embedded within.

Life can be a wild ride, with one chapter opening after another one has closed. So you need to hang on, and let the dust and the dirt settle where it may, and enjoy the journey as it may.

At times, we may stumble and fall, but it’s not the fall that matters, but how many times you get back up and continue on with grace, strength and tenacity.

Embrace the beauty within, go out and find the beauty beyond. Whatever that may be. It’s out there. You don’t have to look very far to find it.

Hold on tight to the ones that you love. Embrace each other, capture the moments, build a lifetime of memories. For you only have one life to live. Live it to the fullest.

From Home on the Ranch

Sue

P.S. “Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.” Dr.Seuss